We’ll cover A LOT of ground.
But this post shall serve as a guide you keep around for YEARS.
It is all the mistakes I made, how I WOULD start now 5 years ago if I had that knowledge.
It can also serve well if you are already on the self improvement path, but you’re stuck. To add missing pieces or start from scratch.
Find the Youtube Version here:
If you just go out there trying to make money you will fail.
Not likely fail.
You WILL fail.
You might make money, but you won’t be happy.
I’ll explain why
1 – The Reason
If you started anew or if you’re already on the path, there is a rock-bottom moment.
At some point you realized, “Holy fuck what is this shit? What am I doing with my life? I need to change.”
If this doesn’t happen, you likely won’t start and you won’t be here.
But then the misconceptions start to happen.
You might be trying to get more sex, more money, more fame.
But all of this is an external fix for an internal problem.
I am not talking about life purpose.
I am talking about the meaning of life.
Because I know what that is 😉
And self improvement or the rock bottom moment is an awakening scream from your soul.
And why did your soul incarnate you on this earth?
What is the fucking point you are here?
It’s twofold, although pretty much the same.
- Increase the Quality of Your Consciousness
- Aquire as much knowledge as you can
As you can tell, 2 is sort of like 1, it ties together.
But what do I mean by this?
Low quality consciousness is driven by the ego, by external means. Insecurities.
If you want more, crazier sex, you likely want this because of a feeling of Lack right now.
You don’t have it, you want more.
But if you are driven by insecurity, you will never actually solve the issue underneath.
WHY do you need more?
WHY are you not enough within yourself?
NOT KNOWING that as soon as you let go of the NEED for ANYTHING, you will gain it in abundance.
This is, for example, why I get the feeling of “I don’t need money” a lot while running Ecstacy of Gold, which helps you solve your money issues.
You would think it makes you chase money like mad.
But that is backward.
Sure it works for some. Not denying that.
But they don’t realize that they just become an Archetype, and lose their Humanity in the process.
Meaning, they become a trader, a King, or whatever. But they lose their individuality.
STOP RIGHT HERE.
We now enter new age territory, which most of these people get wrong.
High consciousness does NOT mean you are broke, meditating all day, and never have sex.
It means you don’t NEED it. You are NOT emotionally triggered if you DON’T get it.
… fine with yourself.
This is TRUE higher consciousness, without the weird stuff they teach.
So this is the mindset you need to cultivate and really the ONLY driving force you need:
The only goal in life is to increase quality of consciousness, while building a healthy relationship to the pleasures in life.
If you want to dive deeper into understanding this, HIGHLY recommend watching this video by Leo Gura: Low Consciousness vs High Consciousness
2 – Hustle Culture is Toxic
As mentioned before, there is a rock bottom reason to start with self improvement.
You dislike your life, yourself, people in your life.
And this is where most of what you find online gets toxic.
Some people already picked up on this and made videos about the toxic hustle culture.
Most people are still in a drunken stupor about this.
Hustling 24/7 is NOT the path to happiness.
This is what you need to cultivate.
Yes, you have flaws.
We all do.
But hating yourself as a sort of “fuel” to get going is a surefire way to feel miserable all day and eventually fall prey to easy stimulation again (porn, tv, sugar)
Your self-improvement needs to come from a positive position.
Of wanting to be BETTER than you already are.
Even if you have something that pisses you off, you likely are still a good person in general.
Now your goal is just to MAXIMIZE goodness within you.
So the second part is cultivating your capacity for SELF LOVE.
For LOVE in general.
Also the people that did bad to you, society, etc.
Because you want to be better and NOT being driven by emotions.
This sub will help you with that (and it’s free): Love Bomb
3 – Fake Growth Part II
At this point you likely started doing things, building your thing, whatever it is (with the guidance later in this post)
but you noticed along the path you were driven by an insecurity that didn’t SEEM like one initially.
For example, one of mine was the NEED for love.
I always wanted to get A LOT of love-signs from my wife.
So I was working on a better relationship, so we’re more open with emotions etc.
This is a GOOD thing, is it not?
Yet, years later I realized that the driving force there was insecurity.
And NOT being fine with just BEING me again.
Along the path, you will have certain moments of waking up to fake growth that was driving you.
Subtle addictions, subtle needs.
And now here’s the lesson: this is fine.
DO NOT try to solve everything RIGHT from the beginning.
You don’t have the knowledge yet to even SEE all the lies you tell yourself.
You can only act to the best knowledge you have right now.
Work with that.
Which brings me to the next:
4 – Time Is Not Real
Self Improvement is and will be a life-long journey.
I told you that self improvement is raising the quality of your consciousness.
The tool to achieve that is knowledge.
Learning about yourself, the mind, people, money, sex, society, all of it are DOMAINS in your life where you can educate yourself.
Do you think you will EVER be done with that?
So the harsh reality is to cut out the following thoughts:
“I’ll make a bunch of money and then I’ll be happy”
“I’ll get her to suck dick and then our relationship is solved”
“I’ll get 500k subscribers and then achieved my goals”
Firstly, all of this is external, so not really solving the issues within you.
Secondly, there is no end to ANY of these.
You can always make more money.
You can always have more or deeper sex.
You can always have more fame.
So it’s pointless to think it ever ends.
But even THEN, it NEVER ends to educate and learn.
Which is the prime directive.
Cultivate a mindset that ACCEPTS that you will NEVER be done with anything.
And understand and LOVE the process of constantly gaining more, instead of at some point “being done.”
Time is not real.
Past, future. Irrelevant.
You only have now.
And infinite amount of “nows.”
5 – Find Purpose, Make Money
“Alexander, didn’t you just tell me making money is vain and pride and is fake growth?”
Think of a metronome.
That goes back and forth. The Pendulum swing also mentioned in the Kybalion (great book).
Currently, society is VERY much swinging only on the materialistic plane. Become rich, bang chicks that sell their ass on onlyfans.
These kinds of things.
This is what we see as men, so we want supercars and models, thinking it’ll make us happy.
I had to get this out of your mind with the mentioning above first.
This is NOT what will make you happy.
But sitting on a bench, broke af, meditating for hours likely also won’t make you happy.
Moderation and balance is the king.
You want to make good money to live comfortably (by whatever measure YOU apply to this. Could be $5k/month, could be $1mil) and have enough love, sex, and pleasure (by your standards (which will likely change over the course of this))
to feel like a human and experience these things on planet earth.
To enjoy life.
you don’t want to be consumed by it.
This is what is impossible to get across in 30second reels on Instagram or TikTok.
Not all answers are simple.
Sometimes, you need a 2,000+ word post to explain a concept.
Some guru (can’t think of his name right now) once said, that you can’t be spiritual if you’re broke.
It might work on a mountain in Tibet.
It does NOT work in our society.
You need to make meets end, and a good surplus to not WORRY about money.
Yes, letting go of the need as I said above is the key, but that need is only gone if you don’t actually need the money to feed your children.
The difference is in not just sitting around for manifestations to appear while you “let go” of it all, but in letting go AND taking action to make things happen.
See it as a pathway that makes manifestations way faster and more profound.
That’s the difference between “hustling 24/7” to make money quick, being miserable all day, and understanding it’ll take time to build your purpose, and enjoy the process there.
This is why life can sometimes be difficult.
Finding that delicate balance between being good and being selfish. I made a whole video about this topic using the Jedi, which is heavily underrated in my eyes (truly, deep wisdom in there).
In more practical terms:
Build a business that revolves around creating IMPACT that is based on YOU GAINING KNOWLEDGE and then sharing it.
It shall help you keep improving in life, and as a bonus, make money because it helps a lot of other people.
Build a relationship with someone that makes you GROW as a person. You don’t want a doormat, you want someone that challenges you so you can grow.
Women generally do this inherently if they have good self esteem.
Because THEN you can create a relationship based on love, for each of you, helping each other to ascend (which means also challenging her).
6 – The Vision
After so much groundwork you can now FINALLY get into the meat and set up a plan.
And you NEED this.
You need to have a destination where you want to go to.
You can use that for visualizations, but generally also to give you drive.
In the sense of never actually “getting there” as mentioned above, you will likely never reach that and/or find some other meaning as soon as you’re there.
Once you have tons of sex and money, you’ll likely seek something else.
That is fine.
But first you need to get THERE.
Stop skipping steps.
Build a plan for now. Reassess it every now and then (on a yearly basis is what I recommend).
Luckily for you I have a TEMPLATE to set this up (free).
The Unstuck Your Autopilot template, covering all chakras, business lessons, product templates, action plans, and even shadow work. It has it all.
THIS IS where you create your vision and your meaning.
THIS IS what you need.
Get it here: Unstuck Your Life.
7 – Skip the Gym… kinda
One thing I discovered the hard way after buffing up for 10 years in the gym is…
… that it’s fucking pointless.
But not exercise itself.
See, what you want to focus on is health with meaning.
What I mean is, find a sport or activity that helps you stay physically fit but also has a USE.
Going to the gym mostly builds on your pride and vanity.
Yes, you learn to face tough stuff by pushing your boundaries and all that. But you can do this in a sport also.
You can even do this in yoga.
This is also where I clearly state that most fighting sports are low consciousness.
In Germany we have a distinction. “Kampfsport” and “Kampfkunst” meaning fighting sports and fighting arts.
There is a difference.
One is just to beat your opponent, the other is to beat yourself.
Martial art, of course, covers this, but I urge you to find a fighting practice that has a use other than beating your opponent.
For example, Tai Chi is a good one because it is based on ONLY defenses. In real life, you never need to attack, you only need to defend and it builds your mind.
Jiu Jitsu is also a good one to build your mind and it has a real world use.
Boxing or kickboxing doesn’t really add anything.
Now, this is of course, my opinion, if you get anything out of that, by all means, keep doing it.
But you’ll likely discover along the path how vain it is. As did I…
The lesson of self improvement here is this: you NEED physical exercise. It gets your system going, your mind, and your health.
But don’t forget about your soul. Your being.
It needs nourishment also.
Make the exercise you do have a use.
This is generally a healthy mindset to develop:
EVERYTHING you do should have a use for your own growth or the growth of other people.
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
8 – Addictions
Along your path, most of these will solve themselves anyway, especially if you think with the mantra of “it needs to grow me or other people” you will quickly realize how addictions do none of that.
(Except of course, your onlyfans porn addiction growing that girls’ bank account, but that’s not really “help” is it?)
Now, how to actually quit your addictions?
This video of mine will give you a quick overview why you are failing with it constantly and what to do instead using the rally car metaphor.
You need to understand that willpower and brute force does nothing.
There is an underlying reason WHY you escape reality with these addictions. And those reasons are manigfaltic.
Check the video out, it covers this.
Plus, there could also be subtle addictions you never thought of:
- Needing to be loved
- Needing to be right
- Needing to succeed
- Needing to judge people
- Needing to be moral or good
I KNOW you have some or even many of these.
As he also said in the end of the video, no need to solve all of them at once. It’s a lifelong progress.
But it’s the first step to even KNOW about them.
As I said, self improvement never stops.
The key thing here, as with EVERYTHING really, is, that external means won’t solve it.
Your NEED for money will not be solved by millions of Dollars.
Not having money, of course, is a bad thing, but above that, you need to figure out what you are trying to compensate with a big bank account.
And, yes, money can be a subtle addiction. See Andrew Tate. Although he has many many many insecurities 😉
9 – Relationships and Family
This is the last part of the starting guide and you might be thinking, “huh?”
Either because there is so much more to cover (true)
“isn’t this external?”
To an extent, yes.
Once you engage in relationships and/or having a family, your world will be extended to the outward to care, provide, and support these people.
But this is a two-way-road.
They will also nourish, support, provide, and care for you.
Even a small toddler cares for you.
Trust me, when your own child crawls up to you, climbing your leg and just wants to be with you. Nothing else. Just be there…
… this nourishes your soul.
The nuclear family is the foundation of ANY civilization.
And this is where we get into interesting topics for this guide.
Most of what you are told or see is a lie.
- Meaning of Life
- Environmental issues
- Social Issues
- The nature of the Universe
I can keep going on.
A big part of self improvement is Truth.
With a capital T there intentionally.
The ACTUAL Truth.
Understanding the world, people, etc.
Not only do you need this to have working relationships and parenting, but you also need these people to understand those topics better.
To bounce back and forth ideas.
To have a safe place to talk about “paranormal” things.
As in, your family is home.
This is where you come home, be yourself, with all your beliefs and understandings, without being judged by dead asleep people.
This is NOT to say that everyone is an idiot or you shouldn’t interact with them (see #2 for this), but
when you are battling all day against the currents of a corrupt society, you need a sanctuary to retreat to.
That is your family.
If, instead, your home life is full of shit, fights, resentment, lack of love, manipulation and control, then you won’t have the replenished energy to fight the world.
Thus, YES, a BIG part of self improvement is having a good relationship with your partner and your children.
WHICH IS ACHIEVED by having a good relationship with yourself.
Now I know that this sounds weak, but it’s actually REALLY strong.
So with that clear, what is it that society is hiding from you?
Knowing about the lies and the dark side of humanity (everyone has a Shadow, a side he/she neglects, including society at large) is also knowing about the fabrics of the universe, metaphysics, and higher realms.
This, of course, comes way later.
In the metaphor of Carl Jung, “A tree can only grow to heaven if his roots reach down to hell.”
Start with the hell first.
The material world.
Shoot back and forth with your family.
Find a woman with which you can talk about these things and you’re set.
Because home is finally home again.
And don’t lose yourself in the link above about the world’s shadow. It is good to know.
But in the end, you need to build and work on yourself.
This is THE ONLY thing you can change.
Focus on that.
The Ego’s strongest weapon is distraction.
Be careful of that.
PPS: Remember, this is NOT an exhaustive list. There is MUCH more to come on your journey. But it is how I would start with the knowledge I gathered over 5 years.